Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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