this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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