i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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