Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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