wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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