No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize