i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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