I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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