I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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