In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize