We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize