I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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