I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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