I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
now i know why i became what i already was.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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