doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize