Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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