Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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