I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize