who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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