Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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