I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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