you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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