he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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