And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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