I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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