Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize