thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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