just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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