I heard we made out
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize