Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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