I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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