Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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