I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize