just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize