if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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