Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize