actually, I'm a sock model
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize