Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
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i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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