we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry my hands just texted you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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