tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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