Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
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She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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