youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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