Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize