Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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