Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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