K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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