where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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