every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize