So drunk, too bad you don't want this
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
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I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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