Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
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I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
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Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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